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Outside Looking In

Saturday, November 26th, 2005

For me I’m not sure where it all started to go differently, like Christina Ricci’s ‘Prozac Nation’ it was gradually at first..then suddenly.

To call myself an addict during my childhood years I think is fair. Like so many millions of other kids around the world, the shape of the world was not lost on me, football was the world. I headed FA Cup Winning Goals in my sleep, I cut out hundreds of pictures of then present day legends like Mabbutt, Thorsvedt, Klinsmann, and going back futher to the good ‘ole days of Clive Allen, Mitchell Thomas and the mid-80’s ‘Team Tactix’ greats. 2 million quid for big Clive, extortionate in those days, GM Vauxhall Conference prices now (do they still even call it that?).

As you may have guessed I breathed Blue and White, September 1994 was the pinnacle, getting drubbed 4-1 by Nottingham Forest at White Hart Lane on my virginal pilgrimage to North London still would nearly reduce me to tears. Years later when I went back on a weekend visit to London, I popped up to High Road to see if the magic was still there and even the unexpectedness of getting caught in the filming of an episode of ‘Footballer’s Wives’ wasn’t enough to stoke the embers of those glory days.

Why is it that for some people, that childhood love of the game will never leave? From the pulsating crowd at Windsor Park crushing the inferior ‘Pommes’ on a fine night in Belfast (even that kind of good news reaches us here in Australia in a split second, the joys of modern technology) to a kick-about down at the local park with more empty beer cans than spectators. The high which made us breathe as youngsters still makes the menial jobs more tolerable, the wives less annoying and the weather less dispicable because ‘When Saturday Comes…’

To judge it from the said pinnacle era of early ? mid 90?s to the present day is quite a huge difference. I never missed a game back then, Saturday afternoon, 5p.m., homework- forget about it; clean my room- no chance. This was my time to watch the results robotically magic on the screen via the ?teleprinter? and then on final round-up mimic the dry tones of the announcer, ?Rochdale..3 Preston North End?(wait for it, wait for it)..nil.? Aargh no way they could?ve won they had 4 first team players injured and Steve X or Jimmy Y was suspended. Where did this wealth of seemingly useless knowledge come from, if they had put Algebra and Trigonometry into football terms on a Saturday Afternoon then maybe Abstract Mathematics wouldn?t have been such a lost cause,? If x= 4 and y= 3, and 3x + (3 x Queen of the South) = Swansea? 4y? Ahhh now I get it!

To juxtapose that with now when I probably on average see 2 full games a year in the flesh or on TV, depending where I am in the world, if I am at home then a bit of banter and a BBQ to see the FA Cup Final but on the whole I couldn?t tell my Jol?s from my Ferguson?s, my Vialli?s from my Linguini?s. A couple of scenario?s or questions which pop into my head as to the theory of why football fans stay faithful (or lose permanent interest) in the so-called, ?beautiful? game.

#1: No matter how much it is in the heart, your local community and schools must support it in order to make it accessible to enjoy without having to travel long distances to see games or rely on Sky TV/ Foxtel to see competitive football.

#2: Did the death of Football end the day the first of the major sponsorship deals were signed. Was it ok to have been sponsored for a new kit by ?P.Hurst- The Family Butcher? but not so when companies like Reebok and Telstra (Similar to B.T. in Australia) make provisions to change the name of the Stadium to honour their fine Multi-Nationals?

#3: When this influx of money come into the game did it portray a false image to young people that by playing football you can have millions of pounds, sports cars and hang out with Fifty Cent on the weekends when in the good old days, it was just pure luck that you got paid as well as having the honour of wearing the Claret and Blue or Red and White Jersey at 3p.m. on a Saturday afternoon.
#4: What is the future of football now, does there exist a group of forward thinkers who have the potential to stop the rot caused by the saturation of Financial groups and bring it back to what it should always have been about and in the process maybe bring back the magic to old fans like me who would love to feel the spark again of walking into a stadium on a Saturday afternoon or the joys of a 5-a-side game with the creaks and moans of friends long-bloated and damaged by the downfalls of Alcohol, Fast Food and Cigarettes.

From my area of interest the Music Industry is going through a shift from the Large Major Record Labels to those fast thinkers pushing the boundaries of the Internet and bringing it back to where it belongs, in the hand?s of the grassroot gigging musician. I suppose to put it plainly, ?Can Football be saved???

George Best - Where Did It All Go Wrong?

Monday, November 21st, 2005

Born on the 22nd of May 1946 into a working class Protestant family in post war Belfast, Northern Ireland, the inauspicious surroundings of his childhood spent playing football in the terraced streets of his home city gave little indication that the young George Best would go on to become one of the world’s most famous (and infamous) sporting heroes. Little indication that is unless Best had a football at his feet.

Spotted at age 15 by Manchester United scout Bob Bishop and given a trial in 1961 along with fellow Belfast boy Eric McMordie, George almost never made it at all, returning home to Belfast after only 24 hours at Old Trafford feeling homesick. His father Dickie knew what he was giving up though and intervened by phoning Matt Busby himself and asking if the skinny young boy from Belfast could be given another chance. Busby agreed and Best was back in Manchester within a fortnight and the rest, as they say, is history.

Best turned professional in 1963 and made his debut as a 17 year old that autumn at home against West Bromwich Albion. A couple of months later and still feeling homesick he returned to Belfast to spend Christmas with his family but received word that United needed him to play against the Burnley side who had thrashed them 6-1 at Turf Moor on Boxing Day. He agreed to come back as long as the club flew him to Manchester and flew him back to Belfast immediately after the match. They agreed and George Best began to see just how much Manchester United valued him even as a 17 year old with only one league game under his belt. Best scored his first goal for United in a thrilling 5-1 victory and found himself a starting member of the team.

George Best in his youth

The following year Manchester United finished second in the League, reached the semi-finals of the FA Cup and the quarter-finals of the European Cup Winners’ Cup in their first season back in Europe since the Munich disaster of 1958 which still hung like a black cloud over the club. Best was ably assisted by Bobby Charlton and Denis Law in the United side and the three of them above all others would help propel the club away from the spectre of the lost Busby Babes side and into a bright new future.

The expectation levels surrounding George Best were growing ever stronger but he was more than up to the challenge, displaying the skill, flair and panache both on and off the pitch which would lead him to be dubbed “the fifth Beatle” because of his popularity and his fashionable mop tp hairstyle. As he lead Manchester United to the league title in 1965 on the field, Best was increasingly in demand off it as well with modelling assignments and opening his own fashion boutique merely the tip of the commercial iceberg for football’s first fashion icon.

The Fifth Beatle

The following season started poorly after the exertions of the previous Championship year and Best even found himself dropped. He recovered and in one of the most memorable matches ever in European club football inspired Manchester United to a 5-1 victory against the seemingly invincible Benfica in the Stadium of Light. Best’s season wasn’t to get any better though as he damaged a knee cartilage in the European Cup semi-final and missed the rest of the season. The legend of “El Beatle” wasn’t so easy to put down though.

The following season of 1966/67 was free of European worries for United and with Best back from injury and playing now on the right hand side of their attack they won the title in style to get themselves back into the race for Matt Busby’s Holy Grail, the European Cup.

George Best In Action

Inspired by arguably the greatest side in United’s history, they fought their way to the final at Wembley in 1968 and in an epic encounter aginst their old foes Benfica, and Eusebio in particular, came out on top 4-1 in an unforgettable footballing display of skill and passion. Best scored one and was crowned European Footballer Of The Year. This was George Best at the pinnacle of his powers. Even he wouldn’t have believed it could all start going wrong so quickly after the greatest footballing night if his career.

George - The Best

He was sent off for fighting against Estudiantes and the following season United struggled badly in the league, finishing a lowly eleventh. Matt Busby retired and was replaced first by Wilf MCGuinness and then by Frank O’Farrell. With his father figure gone, George began drinking more and for the first time letting it affect his training and his football career. His nocturnal habits and his fondness for the high life were the stories being printed in the papers as the 1970s began, not footballing ones and George’s interest in football almost completely disappeared.

He left and rejoined Manchester United in 1973 but couldn’t motivate himself and eventually took his talents off for brief spells at Stockport County, Bournemouth, Fulham, Hibernian, Los Angeles Aztecs, Cork Celtic, Fort Lauderdale Strikers, San Jose Earthquakes, Dunstable Town and Brisbane Lions. Best wasn’t even thirty years old when he gave up serious football in pursuit of the bottom of a bottle.

He turned out 37 times for Northern Ireland, some of them running teams ragged on his own, many where he didn’t seem interested at all although he maintained throughout the love of a nation who were always susceptible to his cheeky grin and self deprecating honesty and humour.

George has been married twice, first to the mother of his son Callum and then to Alex who he recently divorced. He is of course a legendary womaniser who consorted with movie stars and Miss Worlds, a reputation with the ladies that caused him no amount of problems with both the other ladies in his life and sometimes the police as well.

George Best was a legend on the pitch, a footballing one-off whose flame shined so brightly for such a short amount of time that we can’t look back on the wonderful things he did in the game without asking the immortal question “what if?” His larger than life persona and off the field indiscretions have kept him in the public eye over the years but it should never be forgotten that it was his unique footballing talent that set him apart from the rest of his generation, regardless of sport.

George Best In Recent Years

Football writers are constantly tagging bright new prospects with the tag “the new George Best” but this has done more than Lee Sharpe or Ryan Giggs a great disservice over the years. In truth there will never be another George Best, in all areas of his life he has been a one of a kind, both footballing brilliance and humanly destructive, a world reknowned footballing talent who has fought a life long battle against the destructive disease of alcoholism.

To sum up the man described by Pele and Diego Maradona as the greatest footballer who ever lived we have to recount the often told, never substantiated though completely believable anecdote about George Best and the hotel bellboy who upon entering Best’s hotel room to find him in bed with a magnum of champagne, thousands of pounds in cash from a winning night at the casino and the current Miss World remarked, “George, where did it all go wrong?”

Where indeed…

George Best Playing For Northern Ireland

AUTHOR’S POSTSCRIPT: While I knew George was very ill when I wrote this article I didn’t realise just how little time he had left. George Best died on 25th November 2005 at the tragically young age of 59. Northern Ireland and his home city of Belfast subsequently came to a standstill as he was given a public funeral to allow his many thousands of fans to grieve alongside the Best family. Northern Ireland’s Belfast City Airport was subsequently renamed “George Best Belfast City Airport” in honour of Belfast’s most famous son. Gone but never forgotten. Rest in peace Georgie.

Football Scandals : Part Two

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005

George Graham and Just for Safekeeping

A former Double winning midfield player with Arsenal in 1970/71, “Stroller” George Graham took his first managerial post at Millwall before returning to his first footballing love at Highbury in 1986 as manager replacing Don Howe. His former amiable charm had been replaced with a dour disciplinarian stance and his silky skills on the ball of his playing days were left far behind as he dragged an underachieving Arsenal side to the League title in 1989 as well as another league title and the European Cup Winners Cup over the next few years with his own brand of dull defensive football. “1-0 to the Arsenal” wasn’t a mickey take but more often than not the final score of their matches as Graham stifled and outwitted their opponents into submission.

It was off the field matters, ironically brought to the public’s attention by Graham’s old enemies at White Hart Lane and the Sugar-Venables court case, that were to be his undoing at Arsenal though in the form of a Norwegian football agent and the sum of ?285000. The agent, Rune Hauge, paid George Graham the money as a bung in the transfer of Danish international John Jensen to Arsenal in 1994 and after a Premier League inquiry found Graham guilty of not acting in the club’s best interests he was sacked in 1995, claiming until the end that he always intended to give the money back to Arsenal Football Club.

George Graham was banned from football for a year but was forgiven his crimes and went on to manage Leeds United on completing his ban before doing the unthinkable and becoming Tottenham Hotpsur manager in 1998 where he led them to a Worthington Cup victory the following year.

George Graham celebrates Arsenal's 1989 league title win

Paolo Rossi - Italy’s Prodigal Son

Italy’s 1982 World Cup winning golden boy and tournament top scorer almost didn’t make the Finals at all after serving out two years of a ban imposed for alledgedly accepting a bribe in a match between Perugia, where he was on loan , and Avellino in 1980. Despite having scored two goals in the game, Rossi was given a three year suspension which was eventually reduced to two years after the player continually protested his innocence of the charges.

While suspended, Juventus snapped up his registration for a bargain ?500,000 and when his suspension ended on April 29th 1982, Rossi was immediately given a recall to the Italian national squad for the World Cup in Spain by coach Enzo Bearzot. After four games and no goals in the tournament Rossi and Bearzot found themselves under immense pressure but the coach persevered and was rewarded with a Paolo Rossi hat-trick which took Italy into the semi-finals, beating the great Brazil side of Zico, Socrates and Junior 3-2.

Rossi went on to score both goals in the 2-0 semi-final victory over Poland and the first in Italy’s eventual 3-1 victory over West Germany in the final making him the top scorer in the 1982 World Cup. Quite a turnaround for a man who was viewed as a pariah only a couple of months before.

Paolo Rossi for Italy against Brazil, World Cup 1982

The Trials and Tribulations of Being Diego Maradona

Born in 1960 in Villa Fiorito, Argentina, Diego Armando Maradona went on to almost singlehandedly (excuse the pun) lead his country to one World Cup Final victory in 1986 and then back to the Final four years later where they were beaten by West Germany. As well as leading unfashionable Napoli to two Italian League titles and breaking the world record transfer fee when he joined Barcelona in 1982, MAradona went on to become regarded as perhaps the greatest footballer who ever played the game.

With such great talent on the pitch came a similar talent for attracting trouble to himself off it. His sublime second goal aginst England in the 1986 World Cup in Mexico is often overlooked seeing as it followed his infamous “Hand of God” opener where Maradona blatantly punched the ball past Peter Shilton in the England goal and helped Argentina to a 2-1 victory on their way to winning the tournament.

A 15 month suspension from football in 1992 for cocaine use (an addiction he suffered with for many years) led to his departure from his beloved Napoli and two years later he was sent home from the 1994 World Cup in the USA having tested positive in a drugs test for ephedrine doping. Diego claimed that he has been given the backing of FIFA to take the drug for weight loss purposes so that the World Cup wouldn’t lose appeal without him in it only to see them renege on their promise and have him sent home in further disgrace. This claim has obviously been vigorously denied by FIFA.

Scandal continues to follow him in Naples where he was embroiled in an illegitimate child row where he refused DNA tests to ascertain paternity and further questions were asked about his friendships with members of the Naples mafia.

Whether it’s opening fire on waiting journalists with an airgun or gaining copious amounts of weight and then having radical gastric bypass surgery to lose it again or having a heart attack following a cocaine overdose, Diego Maradona maintains his position as one of world football’s most brilliant and troubled enigmas.

Diego Maradona Kisses the World Cup he won with Argentina in 1986

Bernard Tapie and l’OM

French businessman, politician and sometime actor and TV host, Bernard Tapie was president of Olympique de Marseille between 1986 and 1994 when he helped lead them to the French League title and the European Cup. The glory surrounding these wins was short lived as it transpired that in 1993 Tapie had attempted to fix a match between Marseille and Valenciennes in the hope of resting his best players for more important matches.

Olympique de Marseille were subsequently stripped of their French league title but not the European Cup and were forcibly relegated to the French second division the following season for further financial irregularities which were blamed on Bernard Tapie.

In 1994, Tapie was put under criminal investigation for complicity of corruption and subornation of witnesses and in 1995 was sentenced by the Court of Appeal of Douai to 2 years jail time, including 8 non suspended, and 3 years of deprivation of his civic rights.

He actually served 6 months in prison in 1997 and was also later prosecuted for tax fraud.

Bernard Tapie Celebrates Marseilles European Cup Win in 1994

?Much More Important Than That?

Saturday, November 12th, 2005

null
Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.

- Laurence Binyon

Often when talking about the careers of the footballing stars of the 1930s and ?40s, such as Stanley Matthews, Tom Finney or Peter Doherty, the question is often asked of what they might have achieved had the War not interrupted their careers. For these three what they did achieve was well over a hundred caps, FA Cup and League Championship medals in what were long and distinguished careers. Not so remembered are some of the footballers who served in both the First and Second World Wars who never returned to the playing field when hostilities ended, or indeed to their families and loved ones at all.

Brave Hearts
The 1914/15 season had began with eight consecutive wins for Heart of Midlothian, placing the Edinburgh club firmly on top of the Scottish League. At this stage Great Britain and the British Empire had already declared war on Germany and Austria-Hungary. On 26th November 1914 the entire Hearts team joined the British Army, seven of them never returned to their native Scotland. Three, Harry Wattie, Duncan Currie and Ernie Ellis, were killed on the first day of the Somme offensive. Over a million men (British & Empire, French and German) lost their lives at the Somme as the Allies gained 125 kilometers of mud and blood between July and November 1916.

Heart of Midlothian FC - France 1916
Heart of Midlothian FC - France 1916

Another member of the team, 22 year old Paddy Crossan, was so badly injured that his right leg was labeled for amputation. He pleaded with the German surgeon not to operate. He told him: “I need my legs - I’m a footballer.” The surgeon agreed to his request and managed to save Crossan?s leg. Paddy Crossan survived the war, but later died as a result of the damage done to his lungs by poison gas.

Celtic Warriors
Of the 908,371 British and Commonwealth soldiers killed during the Great War, seven had been on the books of Glasgow Celtic - Patrick Slavin, Leigh Roose, Donnie McLeod, Archie McMillan, Robert Craig, John McLaughlin and Peter Johnstone.

Welsh international ?keeper Leigh Roose, who held a doctorate (had played just once for Celtic, in March 1910, on loan from Sunderland), joined the 9th Fusiliers in 1914 and rose to the rank of Lance Corporal. Leigh died during the Battle of the Somme on 7th October 1916 when his Battalion where caught in heavy machine gun fire and shelling whilst leading an attack on enemy lines ? the attack made no material gain. Awarded the military medal, Leigh?s body was never recovered, he is one of the 72,000 who died during the battle that have no known grave.

L/Cpl Dr Leigh Roose - Sunderland, Celtic and Wales Goalkeeper
L/Cpl Dr Leigh Roose - Sunderland, Celtic and Wales Goalkeeper

The last ex-Celtic player to fall during the Great War was full-back Robert Craig, who made 13 appearances for the club between 1906-09. A Private with the 5th Battalion of the South Wales Borders, he was wounded as the Germans retook the Belgian town of Messines on 11th April 1918, and died on 19th April.

Coloured Spur
Walter Tull was one of many footballers who abandoned his career to offer his services to the British Army. One of the first black professional footballers in the British game, his career at Tottenham Hotspur (where he played ten games in the forward line, scoring twice, between 1909-1911) had been spoiled following racial abuse from opposition fans, and he was with Northampton Town at the outbreak of the Great War. Joining up with the 1st Football Battalion of the Middlesex Regiment, Tull?s leadership qualities were soon recognized and he was promoted to the rank of sergeant. He also fought at the Battle of the Somme in 1916, but survived and was recommended for further promotion. Despite military regulations forbidding ?any negro or person of colour? being an officer, Tull received his commission in May 1917, becoming the Army?s first black officer.

Lt Walter Tull - Spurs and Northampton
Lt Walter Tull - Spurs and Northampton

Having served in Italy, where he was mentioned in dispatches for the ?gallantry and coolness? with which he led his men at the battle of Piave, Tull returned to France in 1918 and fought in the Second Battle of the Somme. On 25th March he was killed during an attack on enemy lines. A number of his men tried to rescue him from no-man?s land under heavy machine gun fire. His body was never recovered. The obituaries stated that Tull was ?an officer and a gentleman, every inch of him?.

Away from the Battlefield
Thirty-odd years on, the Second World War was much more sophisticated, radar, Spitfire / Messerschmitt dogfights, Doodlebugs and the A-bomb, but this ?new era of warfare? led to many deaths miles from the battlefronts.

One such tragedy befell England and Liverpool right-back Tom Cooper. Stoke born Cooper had previously played with Port Vale and Derby County before arriving at Anfield in December 1934, where he was to become captain. His final appearance for Liverpool was on 20th April 1940, against Stoke. Two months later, while serving as a sergeant with the Military Police, he was involved in a motor cycle accident while on dispatch duty when he collided with a bus. An inquiry into his death led to all army dispatch riders wearing helmets. Such deaths were not uncommon during the Second World War, as black-outs made driving at night particularly dangerous, and many inexperienced men and women were forced to drive vehicles on the roads.

The Match of Death
We?ve all seen the movie, Escape to Victory, where a bunch of footballing prisoners of war, conveniently enough including Pele, Bobby Moore and John Wark as well as Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone, take on, and beat, Germany. Had they not escaped during the film?s climax, these actors/footballers would probably have suffered the same fate as the players of Dinamo Kiev.

Classic Movie, Or Real Life?
Classic Movie, Or Real Life?

On 9th August 1942 Germany took to the field against a Dinamo Kiev side built from the ruins of the bombing raids on the historic city. All the previous war-time encounters between the two sides had seen Dinamo victorious, but prior to this particular game it had been made clear that they must lose. However, a “better die in hope than live in shame” ethos had been instilled in these players, and they would not roll-over. They were subsequently sentenced to death.

Really Bill?
Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I’m very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.
- Bill Shankly

Bill Shankly - Life or Death
Bill Shankly - Life or Death

Some say that when Shankly made this comment, his tongue was firmly in cheek. I don?t believe the man ever really joked about football. But, on reflection, and as one who lived through the Second World War, I don?t think he really meant it!

Latics and The Hammers : Earning Respect

Wednesday, November 9th, 2005

As Paul Jewell walked away from his first meeting with Dave Whelan, he must surely have taken the aspirations of the eccentric chairman with a pinch of salt. After obtaining promotion to debatably the toughest league in the world, high profile signings would join the club and the push into Europe would be on.
In a town dominated by rugby league Dave Whelan took over the club in 1995 and took them from the 3rd division to their current position, 2nd in the Premiership. But the storming start to the Premiership has not been due to the money, but the management.

Dave Whelan and Paul Jewell celebrate promotion
Dave Whelan and Paul Jewell celebrate promotion

Not About The Money
The motivational skills needed to get the entire squad sweating blood at the JJB stadium against the likes of Chelsea should not be underestimated, and a canny knowledge of the transfer market has paved the road to consistant success. Chimbonda was bought from Bastia and cited as proof that the lower teams had to shop in the bargin basement of the transfer market for 2nd rate players. Now 11 games into his Wigan career and with 2 goals in the last 2 outings, he is forcing critics to swallow their words.

More than any player, the attacking nature of football under Jewell has been the source of much success. Playing with two upfront, attacking wingbacks and a pace throughout, Wigan are not the battling journeymen Everton of last season were. Whilst it is foolish to suggest that they may retain second place over the course of the season, the positive attitude goes a long way to safeguarding a premiership future, in stark contrast to Sunderland who appear resigned to defeat already.

Jason Roberts attributes his and several team-mates form to hypnosis, ?We?ve always done well after we?ve seen her,? Roberts, who has scored winning goals against Sunderland and Newcastle United this season, said. ?Things have been going well for us, and I?d like to think Marisa has been a part of it.?

Jason Roberts of Wigan Athletic
Wigan Athletic’s Jason Roberts

West Ham’s Progression
It is only the record breaking start to a Premiership campaign by the Latics that has eclipsed West Ham’s progress. For year a club yo-yoing between the divisions, intelligent purchases (such as Berbatov-in-the-making Benayoun) a strong English core, the wise head of Teddy Sheringham and attacking football have led to the Hammers in mid-table. With a decent financial situtation Pardew believes the club is no longer forced to sell its assets (Defoe, Lampard, Carrick, Johnson) and can become a Premiership regular.

West Ham United's Teddy Sheringham
West Ham United’s Teddy Sheringham

Sunderland Struggle
Sunderland have made a less meteoric approach to the Premiership and under Mick McCarthy look as unadventurous as a Gary Neville haircut. Add to the melting pot a club posting record losses of 8 million and they become a prime candidate for religation. Unlike the other promoted sides, they are light on Premiership experience, and a host of young players are finding the learning curve a little steep.

Sunderland manager Mick McCarthy
Sunderland manager Mick McCarthy

So if anything can be learnt by comparing the fortunes of the promoted clubs, it is that to survive in a league with no easy matches, attacking play and shrewd boardroom spending is a must. Adapting a teams style to fit into premiership play is not enough, as Sunderland are proving, teams must undergo a revolution both on and off the pitch.

Football Scandals : Part One

Sunday, November 6th, 2005

Showing that anything the scriptwriters of ITV series Footballers Wives can make up, the real footballers and managers can top, this is the first part of a series looking at incidents and scandals that have rocked football over the years:

Wayne Rooney Frequents House of Old Aged Ill Repute

English football?s great young hope Wayne Rooney was uncovered by the British tabloids in August 2004 having been a frequent visitor to a Liverpudlian brothel where he had sex with a 48 year grandmother going by the name of Auld Slapper and a mother of six with a penchant for dressing up as a cowgirl. The previous month had seen initial revelations about Rooney paying callgirl Charlotte Glover ?140 for sex and leaving her a touching note after the transaction saying ?To Charlotte I sh****d u on 28 Dec loads of love Wayne Rooney?.

Wayne Rooney has since become engaged to long term girlfriend Coleen McLaughlin.

Wayne Rooney On Holiday With Fiancee Coleen McLaughlin

Mickey Thomas and Funny Money

Former Manchester United, Wrexham and Wales legend Mickey Thomas was jailed for 18 months in 1993 for forgery, namely printing his own ten pound notes and distributing them through Wrexham?s trainee players. Ever the comedian Thomas became a regular on the after dinner circuit after getting out of jail and joking like this about his misdemeanour, ?Roy Keane?s on 50 grand a week. So was I until the police found my printing machine.? Who says crime doesn?t pay? Not Mickey Thomas ?I made sure I had the best of everything: whatever I wanted to drink, plenty of days at home and, towards the end, I even had my own car.? A picture of Thomas swigging from a champagne bottle while still serving his sentence subsequently made the front cover of the News Of The World.

Mickey Thomas

David Pleat and the Slowest Car in London

In 1987 in his first season as manager of Tottenham Hotspur and having guided the club to third in the league, an FA Cup Final and the semi finals of the League Cup, David Pleat is forced to resign after the tabloids report on him being cautioned for kerb crawling around notorious red light districts of London. To make matters more clear cut Mr. Pleat was cautioned not once but three times. He went on to manage Leicester City, Sheffield Wednesday and Luton Town again before returning to Spurs as Director of Football in the late 1990s.

David Pleat

Peter Storey ? Arsenal?s “Golden” Boy

A member of Arsenal?s 1970/71 Double Winning side and an England international, Storey?s fall from grace after he retired from the game began with a ?700 fine and a six month suspended jail sentence in 1979 for running an East London brothel and was quickly followed with being sentenced to three years in jail the following year after financing a plot to counterfeit gold coins. In 1990 he was jailed again for 28 days after failing to import 20 pornographic movies from Europe into the UK having hidden them in the spare tyre of his car.

Peter Storey

Graham Rix and the Younger ?Woman?

Former Arsenal and England midfielder and Chelsea coach Graham Rix was sentenced to twelve months in prison in March 1999, for having underage sex with a 15-year-old girl who he allegedly plied with drink and drugs in a hotel room before taking advantage of. Upon his release from prison six months later he immediately rejoined Chelsea and was reinstated in his old job.

Graham Rix


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