And I’m not talking about the year’s supply of jellied eels they’ve got in front of them either. The deal to take Argentina stars Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano to West Ham United hasn’t officially been confirmed yet but football discussion forums are white hot with the news and the potential implications, not only for West Ham but for the premiership at large.

What would attract two of the world’s most sought after, young, talented international stars to Upton Park and the waiting arms of Alan Pardew? At first glance there is no logical explanation. West Ham had a great season last year after their promotion and surprised a lot of people (me included) with their classy football and solid defence that not only gave them a respectable league finish but also took them to the FA Cup Final.

I doubt that their Cup Final defeat in one of the liveliest and most enjoyable Cup Finals in many years will have been enough to tempt the two Argies though and despite having a foot in European competition with the UEFA Cup, I doubt that’s the real pulling factor either.

My suspicions lead me to a somewhat shadier deal being cooked up between the players’ club Corinthians, their owners MSI and another club with shady links to MSI and their owners. It’s long been rumoured that Roman Abramovich is the money man behind MSI and the reason that a broke Brazilian club like Corinthians could afford players like Tevez and Mascherano in the first place. It leaves no doubt in my mind that Chelsea and Roman are behind this proposed season long loan deal for the two Argentinians to West Ham and it’s only for one purpose - to acclimatise the players to London and the Premiership and see whether they are worth signing for Chelsea properly next summer.

There can be no other reason for this transfer to take place. Yes, West Ham are a good, homely club with some good players but for a club to sign Carlton Cole this summer and turn around and also get Carlos Tevez, it leaves me wondering what the motives are. I think I’ve worked out the obvious answer and it doesn’t bode well for the rest of the Premiership.

We’ve seen Chelsea’s strange buys and loan deals in the past with players like Smertin and Jarosik but this moves things to another level completely. Chelsea don’t outright own these players or their club but their guiding hand can skew the transfer market that they can prevent any of their near rivals in the top five from having these players while they park them at a safe and respectable club, close but not too close, for a season to let them mature in the English game.

Something stinks around here and the smell is increasingly eminating from Roman Abramovich’s direction.

(I’m told this was originally done by The Fiver on The Guardian website - hilarious)

7.30am: Wake up in hotel after poor night’s sleep. Mint hadn’t been left on pillow and room service never arrived. Muppets! This wouldn’t happen in Manchester. Decide to quit and go home.

7.32am: Change mind and go into bathroom for a shave. Damn! Forgot to bring razor. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. Scream at my reflection in mirror until it cowers in terror. Decide to quit and go home.

7.35am: Change mind, decide to calm down with brief workout, only to discover yoga mat hasn’t arrived. Call Mick McCarthy and tell him to stick it up his bollix. Decide to quit and go home.

7.40am: Change mind and write “to do” list: 1. Get Sunderland out of the relegation zone. 2. Send hampers full of kit, isotonic drinks, footballs and training cones to Late Wembley in preparation for 2011 FA Cup final. We might be in it.

7.42am: Decide to err on the side of caution by sending hampers to Cardiff too. Late Wembley might not be ready.

7.45am: Drag Triggs around Sunderland on end of lead. He clearly prefers Cheshire. Decide to quit and go home.

10am: Change mind and go for breakfast. Demand fresh fruit, cereal and pasta, but all they have left is kippers. Bah! Dead fish go with the flow.

10.05am: With vein in temple throbbing, demand to see hotel manager. Scream in his face, pull his arm off and beat him over the head with soggy end. “Take that you ****. And that! And don’t accuse me of faking injuries again.”

10.30am: Spend two hours trying to insert clothes hanger in mouth in preparation for meeting press. If they see me smiling they might not be so frightened.

12.30pm: Order fleet of 100 taxis and tell each of them to lead me to the Stadium Of Light so I can follow them. I don’t want to get lost and be late on my first day.

12.35pm: Gridlock! Abandon car and run to stadium. Traffic in Sunderland is terrible. What’s with all these taxis?

1pm: Sit down beside my new boss, Niall. Chair is too hard. This wouldn’t happen at Old Trafford. Decide to quit and go home.

1.01pm: Change mind, field questions and put paid to unfair reputation as psychotic Irishman by giving thoughtful, intelligent answers.

On my relationship with Mother Teresa: “I think it will be fine. A lot of people are making a big issue out of the past but we sorted it out a few months ago. I think it’s important to move on.”

On my reputation as a perfectionist: “All I expected from my team-mates was 100%. I never criticised people for having bad games, I criticised people for slacking off and not being focused on the job.”

On taking the Sunderland job: “It’s been a very hectic few days, I’m absolutely knackered already. Sunderland is a big club, with a beautiful stadium, a big fan base and I thought ‘why not?’” On my plans for the season: “Win the next game. I’ve brought Tony [Loughlan, head coach] with me; there are already good coaches at the club so I’m not looking to make too many changes too quickly. The players and staff deserve their chance.”

1.30pm: Leave press conference without reducing any hacks to tears. Decide to quit and go home.

(With thanks to Corkcityspur on FTL)

Football Punter has had a look through the odds on Gamebookers.co.uk to see what kind of action they are offering for the opening fixtures in the European Championships qualifiers this weekend.

With England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland all in action there is plenty of home based offers to choose from as well as a large variety of other bets on the other fixtures.

Check out Football Punter’s rundown on the home nations’ chances this weekend.

Sven-Goran Eriksson?s reign has ended in tatters. He will be remembered not for his almost impeccable record in qualifying (England only ever lost one competitive qualifying match under the Swede ? a fact not lost on the 14,000 Green and White army who were at Windsor Park little over a year ago.) He will not even be remembered for a 5-1 demolition of Germany in their own back yard - The fact that England fans still gloat over this and the German team has since reached a World Cup final and Semi-final is testament to the under achieving and over hyped nature of the English team and it?s surrounding media circus.

Eriksson will be remembered for his love of the female species, his appalling lack of sense in dining with Peter Kenyon and discussing all about Becks and co to a chap dressed in a few tea towels. He will be remembered for his fondness of overhauling the team at half time, which was so great that FIFA introduced a cap on substitutions in friendlies. Erickson was not shy to dish out call ups. Caps were handed out willy-nilly to players who were never fit to wear the shirt. Michael Ricketts, Alan Thompson, Andy Johnson and Francis Jeffers were all given a go and none lasted as long as a sweaty Sven under the sheets.
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Football Punter has gotten over his nightmare at backing both West Brom and Middlesbrough yesterday and has been hot on the trail of the best odds for outright winners of this season’s UEFA Cup after having had time to digest the first round draw as covered live for the British clubs by State of the Game.

Football Punter runs his eye over the available odds from VC Bet and looks for any opportunites for fans of the British clubs to make a few quid off their side in Europe this season.

Spurs may be joint favourites with Sevilla on their European return but what about Newcastle United, West Ham United, Blackburn Rovers, Rangers and Hearts, not forgetting European stalwarts such Ajax, Feyenoord, Celta Vigo and Bayer Leverkusen?

Football Punter has all of the details on UEFA Cup 2006/2007 outright betting.

New signups with VC Bet get a free ?20 bet so click on the link or the banner below and get signed up.

Chelsea were back to winning ways at Ewood Park on Sunday defeating Mark Hughes? Blackburn Rovers side 2-0. A Frank Lampard penalty and outstanding goal by second half substitute Didier Drogba gave Jose Mourinho?s men just their third away win in twelve games on the road.

After the midweek defeat to Middlesborough it was a much needed victory for the Blues after Manchester United kept their 100% record going against Watford on Saturday afternoon.

New signing Khalid Boulahrouz made his first start at right back whilst Petr Cech and Michael Ballack returned from injury.
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?A superb full back who never really got the recognition he deserved in the game?. - Pat Stanton.

THE son of a German Prisoner of War who had played for Borussia Moenchengladbach, Biggar-born Erich Peter Schaedler signed for Stirling Albion from Juvenile side Melbourne Thistle in 1969. After 24 games for the club, he moved to Hibs in a ?7,000 deal. A left-back, nicknamed ?Shades,? he was famed for his ?no-nonsense? style.

When Hibs? boss Willie McFarlane signed Schaedler he described him to his senior players as, ?a cross between [legendary Italian defender] Facchetti and [Lisbon Lion] Tommy Gemmell?. He also added that that he could, “take really long throws as well.?
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First impressions count. Whether you are going for a job interview, watching the latest movie or looking across the dance floor for your latest conquest, first impressions really do count. People think it is romantic when people say ?it was love at first sight? but in reality, that first impression cannot determine your compatibility over the course of a lifetime. It is the same for a job interview, that moment you walk through the door and the first words out of your mouth cannot guarantee how good or bad you will be at a job. It is also true that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. All that being said, after three games, three points, two goals scored and four conceded, I feel able to give my first impressions of Tottenham in the 2006/2007 season.

When last season ended and Spurs had finished 5th, I was probably one of the few supporters that actually had a sigh of relief that we did not reach the Champions League. Just in case you think you have read that wrong, I will say it again. I had a sigh of relief that we did not reach the Champions League. Yes, it would have been fantastic to finish above Arsenal and gain entry into the elite competition for European clubs but I felt it would have been a step too far. I don?t believe you can go from midtable obscurity to Champions League football in one step without feeling the consequences. Everton were a prime example the season before. An excellent fourth place finish and then they struggled throughout the 2005/2006 season. Therefore, I felt it would be a better transition to (hopefully) regular European football if we played the UEFA Cup first. I also knew in the back of my hand, after last season?s excellent performance, it was going to be much harder this time around.
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Football Punter is kicking back and enjoying the double dose of TV action served up today on this Bank Holiday with games between West Brom and Sunderland in the Championship and Middlesbrough and Portsmouth in the Premiership.

FP casts his eye over the odds and recent form and gives his insight into how it looks like turning out.

Check out Football Punter’s views on the Bank Holiday Monday TV Game Double.

Celtic dipped into the transfer market this past week, to bring in full-back Lee Naylor and forward Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink. The Scottish tabloids have been chattering for weeks about Celtic manager Gordon Strachan?s desperate search to fill both positions.

Naylor arrived from Wolves at a cost of ?600,000 with youngster Charlie Mulgrew heading in the opposite direction. Vennegoor of Hesselink was signed from PSV Eindhoven for a cost of around ?3.4M.

Some of Strachan?s previous forays into the transfer market have been slightly suspect. Defenders Mo Camara and Adam Virgo both recently left Parkhead having failed to make any kind of impact in their one year at the club. Eyebrows were raised when both were signed, but no one was surprised to see them both head back down to England.
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