Dark Days and Long Nights At Swindon

Honestly, I could hardly bring my pen to paper to write this column. The mental strain that Wise and his men have put on me is enormous, more even than sticking my head in a short-circuiting X-Ray machine. As you may have heard, Ince has left us.

Dun-dun duuuhhhh… But there’s more. The Wills family, one of our largest investors, could be leaving. Having pumped over 6 million pounds into the club, the Wills family could easily be leaving.

Dun-dun duuuhhhh… But there’s more. Wise, like the fans, has been getting so frustrated with the lack of motivation in the squad that he’s actually taken away their rest day to make sure they train every day. Will that make them more motivated, or just send them lower into their bubble, and make them more tired?

Dun-dun duuuhhhh… And finally, Wise could be leaving. Leeds, West Brom, and Norwich all have vacant spots on the managerial bench and with a struggling side he could be staring out the window to the north, drooling and hovering his hand above the phone, debating whether or not to make the call.

But first things first. After only 2 starts and 3 overall games, Ince has quit the club. It’s only natural for everyone to start thinking of conspiracy theories of whether he’s quit to join the aliens of Venus to begin conquest of Earth, whether he’s quit to spend more time with his cacti, or whether he’s quit because he had to travel all of 3 hours from his home in Cheshire to get to training in the morning. The last reason was his statement to the public, and of course the least obvious. Just about. Maybe.

2nd. The Wills family leaving is bad, bad news for Swindon Town. Having just lost a 1 million pound investor, how attractive must Swindon be to other potential investors? Not very at all. I can’t think at all why this should be. Maybe our chairman has both his feet permanently in his own mouth, so he walks like some sort of hermit crab. I can’t imagine why, after losing one huge investor, the Robins aren’t more careful with the most important people in the establishment, the ones that make it all happen.

3rd. After drawing to Boston United on the 30th of last month, Wise was furious with the squad, and took off a rest day. But now, after so nearly losing to Accrington Stanley ? the victims of that old and cruel advert ? Wise must have his heart beating like the Faroe Islands after letting in their 13th goal. I’m going to hate to hear what he’s going to say tomorrow in the Gazette and Herald or the Swindon Advertiser, no doubt berating his players like Stuart Pearce did. Maybe not quite as psycho killer-esque.

So that leads me neatly on to 4th. As I said before, Leeds, West Brom, and Norwich are wanting a manager. Someone young. Fresh. Not afraid to do anything. Time to cower in a corner. But if one of these teams asks for a big sum, say 2.5 million, we can’t refuse. It’ll be completely up to Wisey whether he stays or goes. And if he does go, we’ll see you in the Conference.