In possibly the most misguided piece of football manager complaining since Arsene Wenger first “didn’t see” an incident, Jose Mourinho has walked straight into the kind of shitstorm we’ve become all too used to seeing build up around the manager formerly known as The Special One (and more commonly known these days as Jose the Arse.)

I’m not defending Andy Johnson or his morals when it comes to penalty box tumbles whatsoever but to come out with some of the most hypocritical statements of the season when skirting the issue, calling him an intelligent player then not an intelligent player and generally not having the balls to just come out and say that he thought Johnson was a diving cheat, Mourinho finds himself in the middle of yet another petty squabble, in line for another FA charge and yet another reason for fans of all clubs (including his own) to get even more bored with the most boring “Special” manager in English football.

Everton want a retraction, Johnson’s agent is talking about defamation (let’s not get too carried away now, saying Johnson doesn’t dive is like saying Drogba doesn’t dive) and there are murmurs of the FA sticking their nose in again. Seems like Jose needed to come up with anything to distract from the hole John Terry’s absence left in the Chelsea defence and, if so, it’s three points and diversion succeeded for Matalan’s most famous coat wearer.

After Crystal Palace agreed fees of ?8.5m with Wigan Athletic, Bolton Wanderers and Everton last week, England striker Andy Johnson has made it clear that he sees his footballing future at Goodison Park.

With so much upheaval at Selhurst Park over the past fortnight with failing to reach the play off finals and the resignation of manager Iain Dowie, it had become apparent that their star man Johnson was going to be allowed to leave and once Everton entered the race for his signature, he decided that they were the club for him.

Andy Johnson has told www.evertonfc.com:

“After several days of careful consideration, I have decided that my footballing future lies at Goodison Park with Everton.”

“I find the prospect of playing for one of the biggest names in British football impossible to resist, and I am now just hopeful that I can swiftly complete my medical so that I can sign on the dotted line and commit myself to the club.”

“Whilst I do believe that Everton will afford me the best opportunity to fulfil my twin ambitions of winning major honours and again representing England at senior level, the last few days have been both hectic and demanding,”

“I would like to thank both Wigan Athletic and Bolton Wanderers firstly for having sufficient faith in my abilities to lodge a bid and secondly for being so courteous and professional during the course of our negotiations. I was very flattered by the interest of both clubs.

“I would also like to thank everyone at Crystal Palace - especially (former manager) Iain Dowie and the fans - for their support and dedication during my time at Selhurst Park. In many ways I am sorry to be leaving but I wish them well for the future.”

Johnson should now complete his medical tomorrow and finalise the deal this week after being given time off from international duty by Sven Goran Eriksson to discuss the deal with the Merseyside club.