Or so the not at all money orientated Lucas Neill would have us believe. Best of all it isn’t only the dearly departed and much lamented Bobby Moore who it insults, just for good measure (and to show he’s been reading the Short History of West Ham United 1966-2007 before his press conference) Lucas tells us that it also makes Martin Peters, Geoff Hurst and Billy Bonds cry as well.

Cor blimey guvnor! Whatever line will modern day professional footballers feed us next?

Everyone knows exactly why Lucas Neill signed for West Ham over Liverpool and it’s all to do with around a reputed 50,000 Queen’s finest finding their way into his bank account each and every week. Well, until West Ham are relegated that is by which time he’ll have decided that leaving with no dignity and a large payoff will also please the 1966 World Cup triumvirate (and Mr. Bonds) and disappear off to whichever other club offers him the largest wedge.

Tell us you grew up on Bondi Beach wearing the claret and blue and pretending to be Alan Devonshire if you must Lucas but don’t go dragging the memory of players fans from all clubs and nationalities can quite rightly hold fond memories of to try and make out like it’s all about the heritage for you. We aren’t mugs and you’re treating West Ham fans especially like they are.

Keep them up and they’ll celebrate you, step in for a few quid and a Lee Bowyer like escape clause a few years ago and they’ll let you know exactly what Bobby Moore would have thought of you.

Working on the internet as I do I’m well used to overuse of the phrase “bubble” and the scaremongering tactics that go with it as those with memories that run back to 1999 cower in fear of another financial meltdown based on over exuberant acquisitions at ridiculously inflated prices.

Watching football as I also do is becoming eerily similar especially as the January transfer window gets into full swing and silly season is well and truly under way.

I wrote a post a few days ago about Arsenal’s lack of English players and Arsene Wenger’s long list of excuses for why he doesn’t buy British and one which I glossed over a little was the fact that transfer prices in England are exorbitant. I don’t think anyone can argue with that logic when we’ve seen players with only a year or two’s first team experience such as Glen Johnson and Shaun Wright Phillips move for astronomical sums and then fail to even make the bench for the purchasing club although the Chelsea / Abramovich factor certainly hasn’t helped matters.
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What a difference a few months makes at the Boleyn Ground. Back in August it was back slaps and talk of Champion’s League qualification and shady Iranian investors with Russian oil billions buring holes in their metaphorical pockets. Today it’s Alan Pardew clearing out his desk and a lesson for the rest of us that the phrase “itchy trigger finger” means exactly the same thing in Iceland as it does in East London.

I have to say that I’ve got some sympathy for Pardew. He squared up to Wenger in one of this season’s fantastically comical moments after West Ham’s last minute winner and he helped the club punch way above their weight last season with a strong top half finish and loser’s medals from one of the most entertaining FA Cup finals I’ve seen in the last decade but I think it was these heroics which have cost him his job.
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Let’s put this whole episode into context shall we? West Ham start the season with a couple of wonder boys on the books and proceed to have the kind of start every player, manager, chairman and fan all over world dreads. Being perfectly honest they’ve been abysmal and Alan Pardew knows just how close he is to the sack especially with a big money takeover of the club looming and the spectre of Svennis strolling past and eyeing up the comfiness of the chair in the Upton Park manager’s office. Let’s just say that it hasn’t been the easiest of seasons for Mr. Pardew.
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Each day brings more and more nails to hammer into the coffins of the West Ham careers of Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano and today is no exception with their national coach Alfio Basile telling the two players to get out of the club as soon as they possibly can.

Basile, who took over from Jose Pekerman as Argentina coach following the World Cup, has even went so far as to advise Mascherano to move to Juventus even if they are in Serie B as it would still be a step up from playing for West Ham United.

The former Boca Juniors coach says that both Tevez and Mascherano look “half-hearted and I’m really worried. They play as if they’re unenthusiastic. I hope both of them leave that club as soon as possible.”

With the great West Ham Argentina Experiment dying swiftly on it’s arse, just who is to blame for the greatest coup of recent years turning to complete farce after only half a dozen games?
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After yesterday’s news about Alan Pardew’s resignation threat following interference in team and boardroom affairs by potential West Ham investors MSI, we now get Pardew himself coming out to the press (steady now) and denying that any such incident ever occurred.

So, can we believe the word of the man himself or dowe look at it as a damage limitation exercise while the chance of an MSI takeover still looms and the West Ham board and current owners don’t want too much negative publicity derailing their big payday after all? In football these days, who really knows what’s the truth and what’s spin?
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Could it only be a little over a month ago that West Ham fans were rolling out the barrel throwing jellied eels into themselves like there was no tomorrow after signing Argentina’s two brightest young stars, Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano? After five straight defeats and a complete inability to fit either of the two superstars into the club’s successful system from last year, manager Alan Pardew was at the end of his tether and threatened to resign after the weekend’s defeat by Reading if the proposed takeover by sports management company MSI wasn’t scrapped.

MSI remember are the company who own the two Argentinians and have been reportedly calling the shots in the West Ham boardroom as they prepared a ?70m bid takeover of the club. Seeing things deteriorate even further if they continued like they were, Pardew obviously knew that he was on a hiding to nothing by plodding on and trying to appease the prospective owners while also acting in the club’s best interests.

I’m sure the loss of the potential revenue from the takeover will be playing heavily on chairman Terence Brown’s mind but it’s refreshing to think that, despite all of his faults while in charge of the club, Brown might finally have made the best decision for West Ham regardless of the personal loss it will cost him.

The two Argies aren’t exected to hang around beyond the January transfer window and all of the West Ham fans who crowed about their three year deals on signing will no doubt be glad to see the back of them. West Ham have learned a valuable lesson and I think it’s one that other clubs will duly note when tempted to deal with MSI and their maverick band of mercenary footballers - there is no substitute for signing the right players for your squad and system and regardless of their quality, Tevez and Mascherano were never the right players to be wedged into the West Ham team.

Lessons learnt and perhaps the best one of all is to trust your manager’s judgement when things are going wrong.

You didn’t need to be in possession of a crystal ball or deceptively old former National Lottery medium Mystic Meg to look at West Ham’s away visit to Palermo in Sicily and spot a bit of bother on the horizon. In fact, if it had went off completely peacefully I’d have been shocked.

Selling t-shirts bearing Mafia slogans outside Upton Park before the first leg might have been a cheeky East End bit of leg pulling (and who wouldn’t have cashed in if they were a merchandise vendor awaiting the visit of the Sicilians? I know I would) but it shouldn’t ever have been forgotten that while Sicily is renowned for it’s links with the origins of the world’s most well known crime syndicate, it’s people don’t exactly have a reputation for being in possession of the most advanced sense of humour. Take the mickey out of the Irish or Scousers and you may get a witty riposte back, take the mickey out of a Sicilian and expect to get a shiv in the kidneys if you turn your back. The choice is yours.
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So the footballing week is set to end with West Ham entertaining Aston Villa at Upton Park on Sunday 10th September. This weekend will see some big fixtures with Man United playing Spurs at Old Trafford, and the Merseyside derby at Goodison Park. It will also be the first time Ashley Cole and William Gallas are seen in the opposing colours since the transfer deadline day club swapping antics, ending the long and boring Chelsea-Arsenal-Cole saga. However, all eyes will be on Martin O?Neill?s Aston Villa who will be hosted by Tevez and Mascherano?s West Ham United, live on Sky Sports.

In what has been a well documented week in the lives of West Ham United football club, this fixture promises to see two clubs with huge potentials after recent takeover reports, go head to head in a game that already both clubs will be so desperate to win.

Randy Lerner is on the verge of a full takeover at Aston Villa after acquiring 89.9% of the shares. Mr. Lerner must reach 95% before he officially has ?taken over? but let?s face it, as with the Glazer?s at Man United, this will inevitably happen shortly.

At the realms, Villa have Martin O?Neill, who in my eyes is the best British manager in the game today. Martin joins Villa after a spell out of the game for personal reasons, and it is great to have him back. I just hope Villa don?t spoil our party on Sunday! Loaded with Petrov, O?Neill?s first signing, Villa will be a technically minded side, who will be tough to break down. I can?t imagine them turning up to make the numbers. They will be here to win.

So to West Ham, and I think had I been writing this column a little bit longer, I may have been linked with a takeover bid to West Ham! My money is still on Kia and MSI having something major to do with the takeover, whether or not it is solely him and MSI, or part of a consortium where he will play ?relationship manager? is left to be seen. It?s definitely an ?intriguing? time (as per Pardew) and I remain positive as to the outcome. I?m publicly not a fan of the existing board at West Ham, and providing Pardew (and not Sven!) remains in charge, a wealthy board will only bring light to the end of our tunnel.

And what?s this all about with Sven hey? The big spenders must really have an addiction to chucking money down the drain. First Abramovich met with him to discuss the possibility of taken a role at Chelsea, which didn?t happen. Then the fake Sheikh had him personally admit an interest in Villa should they be taken over (and that Beckham and Owen would follow him there!), and now he?s being linked with a role at West Ham, if ?exploratory takeover discussions? progress. Let me categorically state this here ? West Ham fans do not want Sven anywhere near our club. If anyone is going to takeover, there will be no need to change the current management structure. Bring us your money, not dirty laundry. Please, please, please, let this whole Sven rumour be a joke.

Onto Pardew, and this weekend will be one of his biggest tests as West Ham manager. Accompanied by the Argentinean duo, Pardew will have a squad that will be up there with the strongest ever to play for West Ham, despite a bit of a recent injury crisis. With first team players Roy Carroll, John Pantsil, Matthew Etherington and Dean Ashton out, this should give some of our new signings the opportunity to enter the fray.

I?m expecting Pardew to line up in a 4-4-2 formation with Robert Green deputising for the injured Roy Carroll. This could be the start of a long run in goal for Green, but not a lot has been said about Carroll?s injury in the cracking Northern Ireland/Spain game midweek. If Carroll is 100% fit, then maybe Green will have to wait a little longer for his debut.

In defence, I?d expect Mears to come in as Right Back, although we may see a fit again Jonathan Spector take a place at Right Back at some stage. Centrally we?ll have the regular partnership of Gabbidon-Ferdinand, and at Left Back will be Paul Konchesky. This is where Pardew?s fun starts.

Ideally in Midfield, Yossi will carry-on on the left side of midfield with Bowyer on the right. Centrally, I?d like to see NRC (retain captaincy despite recent rumours that Benayoun may be given the armband), with Mascherano alongside him. Up front, I?d go with Tevez-Zamora.

On the bench, I?d have Walker, Spector, Mullins, Cole and Harewood. Spector can play Right Back or Centre Back. Mullins can play Full Back or Centre Midfield. Harewood can play Right Wing or Forward and Cole is clearly an out and out striker.

With that line up, and hunger on the bench, who?d rule out another 4-0 victory over Villa? After all if we compare this season to last, both started with a 3-1 victory at home after going 1-0 down, followed by a tough away draw. Then we lost our 3rd game 2-1 and beat Villa 4-0 live on Sky Sports. Who says history doesn?t repeat itself ?. Now where are those odds on 4-0, Tevez hat-trick?

Join me here on Wednesday for a review of the weekend?s games and also for a preview of the Uefa Cup match vs. Palermo on Thursday, or maybe from Barbados via wireless internet if I win the lottery/that ?20 I?m putting on 4-0 West Ham, Tevez first goal comes in. Maybe I will put a bid in for the Hammers myself depending on the winnings.

Thanks for reading.

Hmmm, now I didn?t see that coming (cough, cough)! Reports suggest that the Tevez-Mascherano business has ?nothing to do with a takeover bid? yet seems ironic that the mastermind behind the ?exploratory bid? is none other than Kia Joorabchian and MSI. Whilst of course this is unofficial, as the official Reuters/Bloomberg messages do not mention the ?bidder?, you can clearly read between the lines. This is the statement released on the Stock Exchange earlier this afternoon:

?”The Board confirms that it has had exploratory discussions in relation to a possible bid but these discussions are at a very early stage and there can be no certainty that an offer for West Ham will be forthcoming,” it said.

“The Board also confirms that there is no contractual link between the signing of the players and the bid discussions,” it added.

Fair enough. However, I tend to slightly disagree with the boards statement. I think MSI?s intention has always been to take over West Ham United Football Club, and after all Kia Joorabchian is a well known West Ham fan.

Personally, I will be watching this space with extreme attention to detail, and in turn ensure that all avenues and alleyways are reported right here on State of the Game.